Narrative Script for Pullman Research Paper

Step 8: Revise the Draft

Print out your paper. Read it several times, focusing on a different aspect each time. Here are some things to focus on.

Here are some things to focus on.

  • Check to see that you have met all your teacher's requirements. Kiran looked over the assignment sheet again—especially the parts she had highlighted. She confirmed that she had used the specified headings and the right kinds and number of sources. Her report seemed the right length. In addition, she had followed MLA guidelines for documentation.
  • Focus on the paper's unity and coherence. Checking to see if the paragraphs stayed on topic and were easy to follow, Kiran made some changes by hand to smooth out the manuscript. Then she entered the changes to the computer file.
At the library, I used the online catalog to find circulating
books and reference books. I could access the electronic
databases, which the library subscribes to, so that I could find 
reliable articles. Reliable, according to my teacher, means 

“trusted sources by professional writers and editors.” I learned

that some shelves of books are called the stacks. I found four 

secondary sources in the library but wound up using only three.
Then it was time to look  
I looked at the Web from my home computer. I had to be
very careful to trust only the sites that, as my father said, “have 

nothing to sell.” I used only one site, posted by the HPF, an 

organization I can trust.
  • Focus on each sentence and on the way that related sentences work together. In some paragraphs, too many of her sentences started the same way, Kiran thought. So she introduced more variation.
The clearest example of Mr. Pullman's paternalism occurred

in 1894. The economic depression of 1893 led to fewer orders for
railroad cars. Mr. Pullman cut his employees' wages. He did not,
however, reduce the rent for employees' housing. Employees
, he^
came to beg for help. He refused to listen to them. The workers 

felt they had no choice but to go on strike.
  • Focus on word choice. Kiran edited her sentences to make them more precise. She also checked that her sentences had the appropriate tone and deleted any cliches.
He volunteers at the Historic Pullman Foundation (HPF)
an appointment
Visitor Center, and she suggested I get a reservation with Edolphus.